It's What I Do

I took a trip over the weekend to Minneapolis with my friends Kaylee and Steph.  Kaylee and Steph each have friends in the area, and I hadn't been to the Mall of America in at least a decade and a half.  Mostly though, we just wanted to get out of Grand Forks for a few days.

The trip started out fairly uneventful, the drive down being long and boring (it was night time by the time we left, so not a whole lot to see).  We got down there at around 9:20 and checked into our hotel.  After that we went to Steph's friend Amber's dorm at the U of M to hang out.  We were there for good 4 hours or so when Kaylee and I decided it was time to hit the hay and head back to the hotel (which glowed purple!).  Steph and Ariel wanted a ride to Ariel's dorm since it started to snow outside, so the four of us headed out to my car.  Well, to our dismay, the lot I parked in closed at 12 (they have a ridiculously small sign telling people this, so we failed to see it on the way in), so consequently they chained off the lot and my car was trapped inside.  With no way to get my car out, we went back in the dorm to talk to the security guy about what to do.  He said that they (the campus housing security) don't handle the parking lots, and that there was no way parking security were going to come out at 2:30 in the morning to unchain the lot for me to get my car out.  He explained that this kind of situation does happen on occasion (he also agrees that they don't properly indicate the opening and closing times for the parking lot), and said that our only way out was to jump the curb in the back of the lot and cross over into the street.  I asked him if they take down license place numbers and if I would get ticketed (and possibly in even more trouble if my car "mysteriously" disappeared from the lot) and he said he was 99 percent sure they didn't, and that he'd be "looking the other way" if I chose to jump the curb.  So that's what we did.  Four of us in my little Ford Focus, we jumped the curb, slid down the 10' or so hill between the lot and the street and made it onto the street unscathed.

Me - 1; Minnesota - 0

Saturday we spent most of the day at the Mall of America.  Since I hadn't been there in so long I didn't remember anything from it, and even then so much has changed that I'm sure it's not even the same as the last time I'd been there.  It was still pretty darn sweet.  Yes, I bought Legos at Legoland :D.   For the most part we just wandered the stores and browsed everything.  Nothing too extremely eventful, but still fun.  We left at around 8:40 and headed back to U of M.  Steph, Ariel, and Amber all had plans to partake in "Gopher Night" events, but weren't sure how many of us "outsiders" could get away with not having O of M ID's, so Kaylee and I went on our own to have our own adventure.

We started heading to Kaylee's friend Ashley's house to chill for a bit and figure out what we wanted to do from there.   We were oh the highway, a four-lane freeway, and I was in the left lane cruising at around 70-72 mph, so not too bad considering the limit was 65.  What I didn't expect was for there to be a dear carcass half in my lane.  I noticed it way too late to avoid it, so I ended up running over it with the left side of my car.  From there it was mostly a blur.  I remember fishtailing quite a bit before sliding across the whole highway.  I turned the wheel to the left and we slid to the other side, and then I cranked it to the right again, but this time we did a complete 180.  At this point I hit the clutch which disengaged the transmission, and we ended up backwards for a good couple seconds.  I remember facing a car head on while moving backwards, probably still going at least 50-60 mph.  Finally I came to my senses and hit the brake, which locked up my back wheels and spun us back around.  We ended up drifting and finally coming to a stop in the paved area between the main highway and an entrance ramp.

Kaylee and I pretty much just sat there in complete shock for what felt like hours, but was probably only a minute or so.  I asked her if she was alright and she was, as was I.  Then she exclaimed that someone was outside my window.  I rolled it down and the guy just pulled up behind us to make sure we were okay.  He exclaimed that he couldn't believe what he saw, and I told him to try imaging being in the car.  After determining that both me and Kaylee were perfectly fine, my attention quickly turned to my car.  I had no idea what to expect.  We hit it pretty hard, and it was a big animal so I wasn't sure if I cleared it or not without hitting my bumper on it.  When I got my flashlight out and inspected the car, there was not even a scratch on it.  It was completely fine, with the exception of deer blood that stained the side and wheels.  Soon after a cop showed up to make sure we were okay.  I told him we were fine, and that my car seemed undamaged as far as I could tell.  He advised me to take it slow and start on the shoulder until I could get up to speed before merging onto traffic.  We got going and were back on our way in no time.

After really thinking about the situation and how everything played out, there is no doubt in my mind that God had his hand on us.  The fact that we didn't hit anyone, even while drifting across the whole highway and the fact that it was very busy (after we stopped there was nothing but cars passing, with no gaps as far as I could see), is nothing short of a miracle.  I have no idea how my car didn't flip and roll.  I remember drifting completely sideways for a substantial amount of time, and if my tires caught the pavement at all, we would have ended up rolling easily.  Lastly, the area we came to a stop in couldn't have been any more perfect.  Any earlier and we would have been tumbling into the ditch.  Any further to the left and we would have been stuck in the middle of a very busy highway.

All in all, no one was hurt, my car was unharmed, and I now feel like I have more of a purpose in life.

Me - 2; Minnesota - 0

Very little sleep + Full Throttle for breakfast = insanely good mood for the day.

Proven for the 5th time in a row.

Mmmmm sugar/caffeine high!

(Individual results may vary)

I just thought I would share the good news and inform you all that my sister Candace had her baby.  Lauren (middle name) Meese was born on October 23rd, 2008 at 12:45 a.m., weighing 8 lbs. 7 oz., measuring 20.5 inches long.  Both mother and baby are perfectly healthy.

They don't quite have a middle name picked out yet... any suggestions?

Is it okay to be upset when a little kid gets something that's not really meant for little kids to have, and you know deep down inside that they won't appreciate it nearly as much as you would had you gotten it first, nor will they give it the proper care that it really needs?

Well, I feel like I did my good deed for the day.  I had to get up early to take the tow truck back to the shop after being on call for 3rd shift, when I spotted this guy on the side of the road:



At first I thought he was dead, but when I was coming back to my house I noticed that he was in a different position, so I stopped my car, got out and nudged him a little with my foot, and found that he was very much alive.  I rushed back to my house and called for my dad.  My mom said that he went golfing, so I made her come with me instead.  When she saw him she said "Wow, he's huge!"  I took this picture with my foot for size comparison:



We concluded that he must be looking for some water, but he wasn't going to find any on the road.  Plus we didn't want him to get ran over.  So my mom asked if I could pick him up and put him in my trunk, and we would take him to the pond at the back of our house.  I said "Are you crazy?  You didn't want me to get too close to him with my foot, and now you want me to pick him up?"  Well, I just happened to have some old towels in the back of my car from when I was going to wash it at work, so I grabbed one, draped it over him, and carried him to my trunk.  We got back to my house and my mom went inside to put a robe on (we were both only in our pajamas).  I took him out of the trunk and carried him to my front door, where I asked my mom to take this picture to show how big his friggin' mouth is:



So then we too him to the pond, and set him next to the water.  Hopefully he'll like it there.  I suppose anywhere where there's water is better than where there's hot pavement and vehicles coming within inches of squishing you.  There he goes!

I did it!  I had my very first solo flight today.  That means I flew an airplane successfully all by myself.  I feel so incredible right now.  The best part is after my instructor, Jim, got out of the plane and told me what I needed to do (3 landings, 2 touch and go and the third full stop) I did feel an initial feeling of dread and anxiety, but it quickly passed and everything came naturally after that.  It was at the point where I hardly had to think about what I was doing, and I just did it.  It's kind of like walking, or riding a bike for the first time.  You try and try so much and are so concentrated on getting it right, but once you finally get it you don't even think about it anymore, and you just do it.  That's what I did.  I didn't even have to think about it.  I just did it.  I flew a plane!

I just found out to day that one of the Sun Prairie drivers for the company I work for committed suicide yesterday.  Coincidentally, this happened shortly after big boss man Todd called him and yelled at him for who-knows-what.  Now, this probably wouldn't have hit home as hard as it did, except that the guy happened to be Jim Dowde, the driver who trained me for this job.  I worked with him for a week.  It wasn't like we were all buddy-buddy and hung out on the weekends, but I still got to know him.  He was a really nice guy, and he had a family.
I keep telling myself "Just keep going until August.  After August you don't have to ever think about this job or the people you work for again."  I certainly hope that's the case.  This is unbelievably fucking ridiculous.

Mmmmm Milwaukee.  Got to love that place.  It's where I spent the first 2 years of my college career.  It's where a lot of my good friends live.  It's where fucking worthless souls of criminals decide to break into your car and steal all the valuable shit you have in there.

That's right, I have fallen victim to vandalism and theft.  It was supposed to be nothing more than a fun-filled weekend with my friends whom I haven't seen in a while.  It was, really it was.  It was fantastic right up until I decided to leave.  It was around 10 at night when I left Jess and Andrew's apartment to go to my car.  I got into the driver's seat and the first thing I noticed was that my GPS navigator was missing from my windshield.  No sooner that I noticed that I noticed that there was shattered glass on the passenger seat, and the shattered remains of my passenger side window.  I knew I had my laptop case in my back seat, so the first thing I checked was to see if that was missing.  No surprise that it was.  Not only that, but my backpack with nothing but clothes in it, and my flight books were also missing.  Seriously?  Oh yes, very seriously.

I have never in my life felt so violated and hurt.  I mean stuff is stuff, and almost everything that got stolen is replaceable.  But just the fact that someone would give absolutely no regard to someone else's property and break a window to get stuff that isn't their's is just unspeakably horrendous.  I hate whoever did this.  I really do.  I hope that they are never satisfied in life and eventually burn in hell, because that's how worthless they are.

Because of them, I had to drive home with a missing window, freezing my ass off the entire way.  I guess I can be somewhat thankful they didn't take my jacket, which was also in the back seat.  It's leather too, which surprises me.

During the long drive home I even thought about what I would do if I encountered the person who did this.  Quite honestly, I would probably go ballistic on them.  I would scream and yell at them, telling them how worthless they are and how they do nothing but ruin the lives of other people.  I can honestly say that I have never in my life wanted to punch somebody.  Imagine that, the first person I feel I could ever get into a violent rage at is someone whose face I can't even picture.

Oh well, right?  Shit happens.  I'm home and safe now, and tomorrow I'm going to call the insurance company to see what they can do to help me.  My dad says everything should be covered, so if I can come up with values for everything that was stolen I should be able to get money to replace it all.  I probably won't sleep much tonight.  Heck, I'm not even tired.  Nothing a couple SO-CO and Coke's can't help though.

My dad forwarded me this e-mail.  I thought it was worth sharing.

THE SCULPTOR'S ATTITUDE
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.  I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or...
I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or...
I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or...
I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or...
I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or...
I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or ...
I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or...
I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or...
eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or...
I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped.
And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me.
I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
-- Author Unknown

Way back in December while I was working one fine day, I got a bottle of A&W Root Beer from the Shell Station that we used to work by.  Now, at this time A&W was having one of those "Look under the cap to see if you win" type of deals, where 1 out of 6 people can win either a free soda or a free T-shirt.  You can imagine my surprise when I looked under the cap I just got and found that I, in fact, happened to be that lucky one person in six to have won a shirt.  So, since the contest is nearly expired I send in my cap, following the directions carefully as to provide the correct information they require so that I may receive the shirt that I had just won.

The contest rules said that I would receive my prize within 6-8 weeks after I sent in my cap.  About three months later I finally receive a package in the mail.  You can imagine my surprise and relief to finally get it, after giving up all hope after the first few weeks of waiting for it.  I can only imagine what it must look like: A faded brown T-shirt depicting the A&W logo on the front, which I would proudly wear since I absolutely love A&W Root Beer.  What I found inside was nothing of the sort, however.  When I tore that package open with great haste, I find not a faded brown T-shirt depicting the A&W logo on the front, but a faded green T-shirt depicting the Canada Dry Ginger Ale logo on the front.

What the f***?

I don't f***ing drink Canada Dry Ginger Ale.  I hate ginger ale.  The ONLY times I ever drink the stuff is either when I'm sick with the flu and I drink it to help settle my stomach, or when there's absolutely nothing else within a 100 mile radius to drink.  I don't like it and I don't want to wear their shirt.  I won with a A&W Root Beer cap, not a Canada Dry Ginger Ale cap.  They should know the f***ing difference between root beer and ginger f***ing ale.

Dumbasses.

I realized  that I have written a lot of journal entries about looking for flight schools, applying to flight schools, and none about actually flying.  I have had six flight lessons so far and will have another one tomorrow (Wednesday) morning and one on Saturday.  I must say that flying is everything I had ever hoped it would be, if not more.  It's one thing to fly in a commercial jet where you're surrounded by people, you may or may not get a seat by the window, and you fly way to high to actually be able to see anything.  It's another entirely to actually be able to control where you go, to fly over what you want to, to be high enough to feel completely free from the world, yet close enough to look down and at the horizon and just see how beautiful the earth can be.  Last time I flew, we went over Devil's Lake.  Even though there wasn't that much to see what with all the snow covering everything, it was still amazing to be able to see the outline of the crater that is Devil's Lake, and to see the surrounding Baraboo Bluffs.  This spring when the snow melts and all the new growth begins to show itself, I want to take a camera up and take some pictures so you can see what I see.  It's truly a beautiful sight like none other.  Flying in as small of a plan as I do almost feels like driving a car, only the controls are quite a bit different, and it's 3500 feet above the ground.  After I get my private license, I would love to take anyone who would be willing up in the air, provided the plane isn't too expensive to rent (I'm going to ask about that tomorrow).  Heck, if you're brave enough you could go to the airport (either Baraboo or Reedsburg) and pay 59 bucks to do a little flying yourself.  It's definitely a rush, as long as you're not afraid of heights, that is.

I hate Wisconsin.  This winter has got to be the worst winter of my life, and from the looks of things it's not going to get any better any time soon.  I was getting so excited to move away this fall and go to college in North Dakota, but then I realized that that's just further north and it's probably colder up there for more of the year than it is here.  I think I'm going to look at flight schools in Florida.  I've heard that there are a lot down there, and at least they don't get snow.  Anyone want to move to Florida with me?

Everyone (everyone that's in school, that is) seems so excited that their classes got canceled today because of the weather.

Everyone except me.

Unfortunately, it may seem like a pretty decent day outside, but when learning how to fly the weather needs to be damn near perfect.  I've had 4 or 5 of the last flight lessons I've made get canceled because of the weather, and it fucking pisses me off.  Oh, I'm not pissed that they canceled my lesson, I'm pissed that the damn weather won't clear up enough to allow me to fly.  I've had lessons canceled because of reasons like too strong of wind, too icy of a runway, the clouds are too low, visibility isn't good enough, it's raining or snowing, just to name a few.  I just wish the weather would get it all out of its system one day so I can fly the next.  Is that too much to ask for?  Seriously.

*sigh*

Well, it's absolutely nothing that anyone can do anything about, so I guess I'm just going to have to be patient about it.  I will be a pilot someday, and at this point I really don't care how long it takes just as long as it happens.

Well, it's official. On Friday I am going to the Baraboo airport where I'm going to take a one-time introductory course in flying-one hour on the ground and one hour in the air-to determine -if- I really want to pursue aviation as a career. If I do (which I'm about 99 percent sure I do) then I'll start taking classes on Monday to work towards getting my private pilot's license.

I'm not even going to think about college right now since I can't afford to go before I have my car paid off anyway, and I don't want to rush this, get myself in way over my head, and end up not liking it because of the intense workload I got myself into. That, and I'm getting sick of the college I wanted to go to hounding me to start in January when I've told them several times already that I absolutely cannot start in January. No, I'm going to take it slowly and find out as much about the field as I can and how to really make it successfully before jumping head first into it. Yes, I still plan on going back to college eventually and get my bachelors since you pretty much need one to go commercial, but I'll have a lot of hours to accumulate before I'll even be applicable, and right now I have too many expenses that I need to work off before I start paying more money towards school again.

Well, it's becoming more and more real. Last night I spent two and a half hours talking to my admissions representative at Spartan College of Aeronautics and Technology and going through an interview process while filling out the applications and other paperwork. They want me to send the forms in by Saturday, and after that I wait to find out whether or not I'm actually accepted. It's not an open enrollment school, and they only except 200 students into their flight program out of the year, so I literally have to sell myself to them. Avery, my admissions rep, said that he felt he could put up a pretty good fight for me, since he's the one that actually talks to the president and admissions council about admitting students. If I'm accepted, the earliest I could start, provided there is an opening, is January 7th, which means prior to the 7th I would be in Oklahoma already. However, after talking things over with my parents, I would probably be better off waiting until March (the next possible time I could start the program) and use the time from now until then to work and just make some money. I'll probably need to get a new car and all that fun stuff before I go, and I know for a fact that there's no way I can afford it now, much less make the money I'll need before January. It's not your typical semester-based college, though, which took me a while to figure out. The whole flight program is 30 months, but it's 30 straight months. Each class is about 6 weeks long, but it's only one class at a time. The classes are very intense, though, and the actual flight training is, from what I understand, a one-on-one process. They take this so seriously that they will fine me $250 for each session I miss. I know it sounds intense and maybe a little too strict, but the payoff would most definitely be worth it. They not only help you find a job while you're going to school, they also encourage working while attending school and they will make sure you have a job to start in immediately after graduation. We're talking about the number one school in this field in the nation. Avery said that companies from all over the country look to this school first for employees. It's really nerve-racking, but really exhilarating all at the same time. Like I said though, I still need to wait and find out if I even get accepted. I'll definitely keep posting about the progress as it happens.

Well, it's official. I am dropping out of MSOE. I don't want you to confuse that with me dropping out of school, though, since I will be looking for a different school to go to. I've just decided that this school wasn't the one for me, and neither was the major. I do have a huge admiration for the construction process, I just don't think it's for me. So I'm going to try something else.

I was thinking about flying.

I've wanted to be a pilot since I was 2 years old. Ask anyone in my family. It's true. I already heard back from one school, Spartan College of Aeronautics and Technology in Oklahoma, but I still have a lot more searching I would like to do before I choose.

So the way I've decided to put it is that I'm leaving my current school to pursue my life-long dream.

I refuse to be known as just another college dropout.

I've already found someone to sublet my apartment for the rest of the year, so in less than a week I'll be moving back to the Dells where I will work for my dad for a while at least until I can find a school to go to.

Things have already started to come together. This can work. This will happen.

Just great. I'm finally at the point in my life where I must choose which direction I decide to go in, where I am the only one that can make the choices I'm facing, and I have no idea what to do. I try asking others for their advice, but instead of someone saying, "Okay Matt, I think you should do this because of this and that" I get "Whatever makes you happy" or "Only you can decide." I always wanted to be able to make decisions for myself, back before it seemed like I had no real control over my life, but now I just want someone else to take over. I can't do this anymore. I quit.

Does anyone else agree that this was pretty much the worst month of the year?

*sigh*

It better have been just this month, otherwise I'm really going to go insane.

Fucking stress.

If we could control our feelings, we would be like robots.

I would love to be a robot right now.